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Amazonia:
The Catherine Miles Story
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10
= Highest Rating |
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Guest
Review by Rod
Barnett |
So
just what is Amazonia: The Catherine Miles
Story? It comes packaged as a sordid jungle exploitation
movie about a white woman kidnapped by a native tribe but that's
a little deceptive. True, the film comes complete with headhunters,
animal cruelty and naked natives but anyone expecting something
along the lines of trash epics like Cannibal
Holocaust or Make Them Die
Slowly are going to be frustrated. The film purports
to be based on a true story and most of the time seems an attempt
at realistic docudrama. Of course, anyone familiar with exploitation
movies knows that a cloak of respectability and a "true
story" claim is a great cover for whatever nastiness you
can get away with — for a lot of
folks that's enough of a draw. Sure, there's a fair amount of
standard issue topless jungle nudity, a few gruesome deaths
and even some questionable wildlife footage showing the kill-or-be-killed
aspect of nature. But unfortunately most of the time this movie
plays like a soap opera only occasionally punctuated with mean
thrills. It's hard to tell if they wanted to make a realistic
film or an exploitation shocker but they've end up somewhere
in the middle, pleasing no one. If the filmmakers had picked
one path and stuck to it they might have made a better movie.
What they ended up with isn't very exciting or fun and all the
naked breasts and decapitated heads in the world won't help
a dull story.
The film opens
with some supposed footage of the 'real' Catherine Miles in
London recounting her horrible story to a journalist. I not
only doubt this is the actual Ms. Miles but also that this story
is based on anything other than a screenwriter's imagination.
We're told she served a sentence in prison for the murder of
two people; the film uses her trial as a framing structure.
This allows Ms. Miles (played by the mildly effective Elvire
Audray) the chance to advance the story through a dull voice-over
that is often more interesting than the movie itself. We're
shown young Catherine returning to her parents' plantation in
South America after years of school abroad. She's only happily
home a few days when a boating excursion on the river ends with
both her Mom and Dad murdered by blowgun darts. Catherine is
also struck by the darts but is carted off by a group of native
hunters who also take along her parents' heads as keepsakes.
On the journey to the tribe's village Catherine finds herself
attracted to the quiet, noble leader of the small hunting group
but despises him for killing her family. (She's a conflicted
woman.) Much to her surprise she isn't harmed by the natives
but is bought by the wealthiest member of the group and set
up as one of his brides. Upon discovery that she's still a virgin
Catherine is afforded the status of child and given a certain
amount of freedom. (Cue the soft focus and soft music.) In this
long middle section she learns the ways of the tribe, helps
with the children and in a truly silly sequence heals a man's
injured leg so that he can be a hunter again. This sappy part
of the film is almost too much to sit through but the filmmakers
continue to dangle naked breasts, the impending deflowering
of our heroine and the whole murder trial thing as bait.
So, like a
slavering junkie, I kept watching. There's even an attempt to
make a heavy-handed anti-colonial statement, with some white
bounty hunters using a helicopter to kill a few members of Catherine's
adoptive tribe. Since by now the film has become mostly soap
opera the rules of that hallowed genre prevail for the rest
of the story. Certain odd facts are learned about the circumstances
of Catherine's capture and the way for true love is opened...
Cue the jungle love theme as her hunky suitor wins her hand
in deadly but poorly staged combat. Happily for the exploitation
fans still awake Catherine decides she must seek vengeance for
her parents' deaths and sets off with her lover to take back
her birthright. I'd love to say the movie kicks into gear at
this point but it doesn't. Maintaining the leaden grace of a
drunken man on crutches the film lurches to its ending that
manages to be neither satisfying nor exciting.
It can be truly
said that Amazonia is a botched
job all the way around.
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taken from a French print with the alternate title L'Esclave
Blonde ("The Blonde Slave"), the movie is in English.
The print is in pretty good shape except for the obvious stock
footage in the opening credits. In a striking mirror of this mess
of a film Shriek Show has managed to make an equally large mess
with its DVD of Amazonia. On the
case the film is listed as being presented in a letterboxed transfer
at the 1.78:1 aspect ratio and to be anamorphically enhanced —
although this is only partially true. Due some new kind of authoring
glitch the movie will only play in fullscreen mode on regular
4x3 televisions but plays properly on widescreen sets and in DVD-ROM
computer drives! You read that right —
unless you own a widescreen (16x9) TV or watch this disc on your
home computer, significant amounts of picture are lopped of both
sides of the image. It's like a return to the early days of VHS!
After examining the film on both types of TV I can say the picture
is really nice in widescreen but since most of us have older models
this is a sad disappointment to potential customers. This is just
the kind of screw-up I hoped Shriek Show was putting behind them
and shows a need for much stricter quality control measures at
the company. The only extra on the disc is a small image gallery
that plays over some of the film's score. Advertised as an Elvire
Audray photo gallery it also includes several lobby card images
for both this film and others in which she starred.
10/20/05 |
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