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The
Erotic Rites of
Countess Dracula
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Review
by
B. Lindsey
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5
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6 |
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10
= Highest Rating |
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With
The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula,
writer-director Donald F. Glut (Dinosaur
Valley Girls) manages to pull off an entertaining sex/horror/comedy
on a virtually nonexistent budget. There are maybe all of three
locations in the movie (one a real-life Hollywood motel) and
what limited special effects are displayed are decidedly not
special. Perhaps most of the money went for hiring the actresses,
who frequently get naked and engage in lesbian sex scenes. But
they're all quite attractive, look good with their clothes off,
and some of 'em can even act. Sort of.
In late 1960s L.A., Scarlet — played by statuesque
redhead Brick Randall — is an aspiring rock singer who is attacked
by Count Dracula himself (William Smith) one night outside a
recording studio. She brandishes a peace symbol as a talisman
to ward off the vampire but this proves ineffective. Dracula
bites her and carries away her body. (Smith's Drac is definitely
a breast man, as he opens Scarlet's blouse for a peek at her
nibblies before draining any jugular juice.) The Count then
takes off for Transylvania (literally, in one of the cheapest-looking
digital effects we've ever seen) leaving in Scarlet's trust
his castle-like mansion complete with devoted, bug-eating servant
Renfield (Howison). When Scarlet awakens in her new state of
being she's totally bummed out about the prospect of "living"
as a vampire. Renfield's entreaties about the gift of eternal
youth and beauty can't make a dent in her funk. So she spends
the next 30 years pining over the music career she never had.
The story flashes forward to the present
day, with Scarlet still stuck in her "woe is me" rut.
Nightly trips to a bar called "The Scarlet Countess"
— also the film's original title, by the way — don't do anything
to relieve her ennui. (In a prime example of blatant padding,
the filmmakers take this moment to insert a fantasy sequence
with Scarlet imaging a beautiful brunette, played by voluptuous
porn starlet Charlie, performing a striptease and taking a dip
in a hot tub. This really has nothing to do with the plot, of
course; it's just a music video with nudity. But if one has
to pad out a movie, we can think of a lot worse ways to
do it.)
Finally fed up, Scarlet decides to end her existence — she orders
Renfield
to drive a stake through her heart at dawn. But the loyal servant
can't bring himself to do the deed. Instead he offers her hope
of fulfilling her wish.
In a Hollywood book store he's found a copy of the "Ruthvenian",
the Holy Bible of the Vampires. Within its pages lies the promise
of a vampire's return to
human mortality if he or she can find three virgins willing
to be seduced over to the dark side, all within the span of
a single day. At first this would seem a
daunting task. "Where am I going to find three virgins
within 24 hours... in L.A.?" Scarlet whines. This turns
out to be rather easily accomplished, as Renfield offers up
to his mistress three young ladies who fit the bill: Tiffany
(Meredith Rhinehart), a buxum college student; Vicki (Nicole
Liberty), a shapely club patron; and the cute goth-chick bookstore
clerk, Shado (Julia Ann Thurman) who sold him the ancient tome.
In pursuit of her quest for mortality, Scarlet wastes no time
getting them out of their clothes and draining them of blood.
It's all just a silly bit of hooey, of course.
The only reason this movie exists is for the T &
A, which is plentiful and pleasing to the eye. But the difference
between this and your typical Friday night cheap-o skin flick
on Cinemax is that director Glut and company are competent filmmakers
without a pretentious bone in their bodies. They know the film
is being made purely for the titillation of B-movie watching
males — and perhaps goth-inclined ladies of the
Sapphic persuasion? — who're flopped on the couch at two A.M.
with beer or blunt in hand. They had little money to work with
and a whopping 5 whole days to shoot the thing. Yet they don't
use those impediments as an excuse for a crappily-mounted production
or a "Who gives a shit?" attitude. Genre fans
will note that Glut's script includes a number of in-jokes,
particularly references to the 1943 Universal horror Son
of Dracula.
So as long as one is fully aware of what
to expect from this — naked women, softcore lesbian sex, a few
laughs — an enjoyable time should be in the offing. The goth-rock
music score, courtesy of bands Shadow Light and Doppleganger,
is better than it has any right to be. (This is a good thing,
too, as much of the flick plays like an extended music video
for Playboy TV.) And it's great to see craggy B-movie veteran
William Smith (Invasion
of the Bee Girls, Fast
Company) back on the screen again, only here he's
playing "The Bloody Count" Dracula instead of a tough-guy
biker or action heavy.
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The
Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula
is presented in non-anamorphic letterbox format. This was a surprise;
we'd expected it to be fullframe. Given that it's a zero-budget
production originally shot with digital video (and tweaked to
make it appear as though shot on film stock) don't expect grain-free,
razor sharp clarity in the visuals. The disc's stereo sound mix
does justice to the rock-driven score, however.
One wouldn't expect bonus features
on a budget-priced disc of this nature (i.e., a straight to video
sexploitation flick), but this recent Seduction Cinema
release delivers.
A full-fledged audio commentary is included, with Glut,
producer Kevin
Glover and editor Dean McKendrick participating. A few good-natured
jokes and bad puns aside, these guys avoid taking the low road
—
something that'd
be very easy to do with a cheesy lesbian vampire flick
— and instead make it a fairly interesting
primer on low budget "guerilla" filmmaking. An amusing
blooper/outtake reel also highlights the shoestring yet professional
nature of the production. Additionally,
the disc comes with nine trailers. Six of these are for other
straight to (and shot on) video sexploitation/horror titles: Cremains,
Demon
Lust, The Erotic Ghost, Erotic
Survivor, Psycho Sisters and
Vamps: Deadly Dreamgirls. The remaining
three are from the Retro-Seduction line of early '70s sex films
which were originally released theatrically: Swedish imports Inga
and The
Seduction of Inga, plus Female
Animal.
12/02/01 |
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