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Orloff
and the Invisible Man
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Review
by
Brian Lindsey
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10
= Highest Rating |
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Orloff
and the Invisible Man
is primarily known as a 'faux' Jess Franco film.
It features Franco regular Howard Vernon reprising
his most famous role, that of the sinister mad
scientist he first played for the Spanish auteur
in 1962's The Awful
Dr. Orlof.*
But despite using Franco's signature character,
set in the cinematic milieux (gothic horror) of
which he was at one time a foremost practitioner,
this is not a Franco film —
it
was directed by Frenchman Pierre Chevalier. Perhaps
that explains the weird-ass twist the flick takes
on ye olde invisible man movie conventions...
as if Chevalier, knowing it would compared to
Franco's idiosyncratic horrors, was determined
to inject the strangest elements imaginable. Either
that or he thought he was being terribly funny.
Yet the film is played in deadly earnest, which
would seem to belie the latter theory.
Young Dr. Garondet (Francis
Valladeres) is given an urgent message summoning
him to the castle of the reclusive Professor Orloff.
Abandoned by a skittish coachman, Garondet is
forced to tromp for miles through rain-soaked
woods before finally reaching his destination.
But instead of a patient requiring his services
the doctor finds only mystery at Chateau Orloff.
None of the odd-acting servants knows anything
about a medical emergency or why a physician was
called to the house. Garondet next speaks with
the professor's pretty daughter, Cécile (Brigitte
Carva), who admits sending for him but remains
vague as to the exact reason why. She suggests
that terrible things are happening at the castle
— an invisible being
stalks its corridors. To learn more, the doctor
must speak with the master of the house.
Garondet is poking about Orloff's
lab when he's confronted by the man himself, armed
with a pistol. The professor adopts a more congenial
tone when he finds the intruder in his sanctum
to be a fellow man of science. He reveals that,
even though Cécile is mentally disturbed (or so
he says), there is in fact an invisible
man living in the castle —
a being of his own creation. Garondet has no choice
but to believe Orloff's wild claim when they're
served from a 'hovering' wine tray and guided
through the castle by a 'floating' lantern. Citing
the storm and the lateness of the hour, Orloff
invites his guest to stay the night. He doesn't
yet inform him that the invisible creature nourishes
itself on human blood...
Maybe I'm guilty of polishing
a turd with the above description of the
film's first act, making it sound a lot
more interesting than it really is. Up to this
point its pretty much your standard gothic horror
fare, competently if unremarkably put together
— only very
sluggishly paced. (We're 20 minutes in before
the doctor arrives at the castle; Vernon doesn't
appear until the half-hour mark.) Where the flick
takes a decidedly loopy turn is with the... ahem,
'appearance' of the invisible monster. Orloff
is something of a sadist, of course, and when
the chateau's maid displeases him he permits the
creature to have its way with her. I believe the
ensuing sequence marks the only rape scene I've
ever actually laughed at. Sexual assault
isn't supposed to be funny but in this film it
definitely is. Evane Hanska, the actress playing
the maid, is chased around as bits of her clothing
are ripped off by unseen wires. Then she thrashes
around naked on a pile of straw, screaming and
moaning while the supposedly invisible monster
rogers her senseless. Rather than sexy and/or
chilling the scene is merely ludicrous. That the
director takes this opportunity to go ape-shit
with the zoom lens —
simulating, I suppose, the unseen rapist's thrusts
— merely pours cheese
atop cheese.
Speaking of things 'ape': I
have to reveal a spoiler of sorts here to inform
you that the titular invisible man isn't really
a "man" at all... He's a gorilla.
Or rather a guy in a threadbare gorilla costume
that's seen too many Halloweens. He's finally
revealed when our hero, inspired by Cécile's
idea to detect the creature's footsteps by dousing
the floors with flour, chucks a sackful of powder
on him. The monster's laughable attack is easily
countered when Garondet bonks him on the noggin
with a poker — but
not before Carva (who displays some remarkably
hirsute qualities!) gets her nightgown torn off.
(It's amusing to sample the different ways the
monster grunts in the various languages; see DVD
description below.)
This
jawdroppingly inept sequence (as stoically stupid
as anything in Ed Wood's fertile imagination)
and the inviso-rape of the maid (lots of titty
jigglin'!) provide quality
moments of tasty cheese,
and I've yet to see a movie not improved by the
presence of Howard Vernon. But
the majority of the film is a real chore to sit
through, a poor man's version of a Margheriti
horror. The
inappropriate music score is a weird, discordant
blend of brooding gothic orchestrals and finger-snapping
jazz riffs. The optical
effects are cheap, indicative of the production
as a whole. Basically they had a decent location
(a suitably dilapidated chateau), a handful of
actors and costumes, and voila! — made
a movie out of it. (But not enough costumes. One
of Orloff's ill-fated servants wears modern clothes;
at one point he's seen wearing a wristwatch.)
Barely feature length,
Orloff and the Invisible Man
runs only 76 minutes but —
invisible and semi-visible
simian antics aside —
feels more like three hours.
It just doesn't help that Vernon, given the script
he has to work with, doesn't have much to
do or sink his teeth into.
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I'm still trying to figure out exactly why, after
that first film, the good doctor started spelling
his name with an additional 'F'. |
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The
Image DVD, first released in 2002, was repackaged
this August as part of the Orloff Collection box
set. The set also includes The
Awful Dr. Orlof, Dr.
Orloff's Monster, and Revenge
in the House Of Usher, each in its
own individual keepcase. As of this writing Orloff
and the Invisible Man
is selling for ten bucks by itself, while the
box set of four movies retails in the $25 range.
(On their own, Dr. Orloff's
Monster and Revenge
in the House Of Usher still go for more
than $20 apiece.) Note: my DVD rating of "4"
for this disc is not for the set as a whole, only
for this individual title.
As for the Invisible
Man DVD, the film is watchable though certainly
quite worn and battered-looking. Omnipresent speckling
is only really distracting during the opening
credits and one particular nighttime scene; instances
of print damage (missing and torn frames) are
more problematic. Decent color balance and minimal
grain elevate the transfer above the typical Alpha
or Brentwood cheapie, however. Three separate
mono audio tracks are accessible: English and
German dubs plus the original French. Dialog and
sound effects are clear in each though music is
significantly more muted in the English mix, which
also exhibits some low-level background noise
at times. The French track occasionally sounds
scratchy. Unfortunately no subtitles are provided,
which is a shame because the multi-lingual Vernon
recorded his own voice only for the French version.
For extras the disc offers the French-language
theatrical trailer (which is considerably more
beat up than the feature) and a soundless reel
of alternate "clothed" footage which replaced
the film's nude scenes.
10/13/04
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