|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Asylum
Of Satan
|
|
|
|
6 |
Satan's
Children
|
|
|
|
5 |
|
 |
|
7 |
|
|
|
|
| Guest
Review by Rod
Barnett |
For
years now Something Weird Video has been the savior of the drive-in
exploitation film. SW has rescued hundreds of low budget or
no budget flicks from (in most cases well deserved) obscurity
and made them available to fans of cheesy, badly made classics
the world over. No other company is as tireless in their efforts
to bring American regional filmmakers to the notice of an appreciative
audience and thankfully, SW has taken to the digital video era
the way a turkey-headed drug maniac takes to sin! After first
issuing several single movie DVDs with loads of extras the company
decided that they could do better if they packed two movies
on each disc and loaded them with juicy extras. This
was a brilliant idea, as for the most part the movies on these
DVDs are not very good. But the sheer amount of fun material
turns each disc into a three hour bad movie party. Fans of strange
cinema can find everything from adventure films, horror films,
sword and sandal epics and crazed biker movies on SW double
feature DVDs —
something for every bizarre taste.
I
can honestly say I've never seen a good William Girdler film.
I haven't seen all of his movies, but having screened 5 of them
I can truthfully state that they all stank. Of course, I must
also admit that although they were all bad, each successive
film was a little better made than its predecessor. (Of course
this gradual improvement ultimately results in The
Manitou, so it's not as if there were quantum leaps in
quality.) While it's tempting to call him the Ed Wood of the
South the analogy doesn't quite work because Girdler seemed
to be aware of his faults and tried to compensate for them.
I would like to think that if Girdler hadn't died in a tragic
helicopter accident he could have eventually been a major player
in Hollywood. He might still have never made a good movie, but
it would've been fun to watch him try. Since Asylum
Of Satan was his first movie I'm willing to cut it some
slack, but it's still pretty damned bad. Filmed entirely on
locations in Girdler's hometown of Louisville, Kentucky, the
film follows the story of hapless concert pianist Lucina Martin
(Carla Borelli). While recovering from a nervous breakdown she
is transferred against her will to an asylum run by the sinister
Dr. Jason Specter (Charles Kissinger). Here she's introduced
to several fellow patients with phobias or anxieties as well
as seeing strange silent inmates who wear hoods at all times.
When Lucina's beefy, plaid-wearing boyfriend Chris Duncan (Nick
Jolley) starts trying to locate her the film shifts from neutral
to first gear and doggedly stays there for the duration. It
soon becomes apparent (even to Lucina) that the good doctor
is up to no good as the other patients are forced to suffer
their worst fears come to life. (Or at least as close to their
worst fears as can be handled on a shoestring budget.) As Dr.
Specter and his staff prepare his girlfriend for a satanic sacrifice,
Chris goads the local police to raid the asylum to save the
poor girl. Complete with a fiery and incomprehensible finale,
this is fine low-budget cheese. Never once scary or involving,
Asylum
Of Satan still manages to entertain
on the so-bad-it's-good level. There are a number of things
to love about the film —
the groovy 1970s guitar-laden soundtrack,
the multiple roles played by Louisville TV personality Charles
Kissinger, the hysterically overdone dialog between Chris and
local cop Tom Walsh, the loud plaid clothing Chris sports throughout
the film, the inept special effects, etc. The movie is a bad
film lover's goldmine and this DVD even makes it more fun by
including a great commentary track with Majestic International
Films' Jeffery Houge and William Girdler biographer Patty Breen.
Ms. Breen, webmistress of WilliamGirdler.com,
truly loves the flick and understands that it's awful but endearing
at the same time. She packs the track with tons of information
and is also very funny when suggesting possible drinking games
for the film as well as pointing out how Nick Jolley is the
most anti-sexy leading man of all time.
The second
movie on the DVD is Satan's Children.
This one was lensed in Florida and is actually a step further
down in quality from its co-feature. Troubled teenager Bobby
(Stephen White) has a lousy time at home with a jerk of a stepfather
and a sexually teasing stepsister making life unbearable. He
storms out of the house one night only to be beaten up and gang-raped
by gay bikers! The bikers dump Bobby near a compound of Satanists
who take him in and, under the orders of Sherry (Kathleen Archer),
nurse him back to health. Sherry is in control of the commune...
uh... I mean coven while their leader Simon is away.
She takes a liking to Bobby but others in the group feel he's
unworthy of suckling at the Devil's teat. After Sherry tortures
a lesbian coven member (Satan appears to hate homosexuals) and
hangs several others that disagree with her orders, Simon shows
up and punishes Sherry by burying her in the ground to the neck
and letting ants sting her. Simon then tells Bobby that because
homosexuals raped him he is too weak to be a member of Satan's
worshipers. Bobby decides to take matters into his own hands,
starting with tracking down the biker trash that started this
whole mess. This film is truly demented. Hilarious and mindbendingly
homophobic it seems to have been made by folks with little or
no idea of reality or filmmaking. It does reach a wonderful
level of twisted sleaze that keeps it fairly entertaining but
all the fun to be had is unintentional. Satan's
Children is a great example of mid-70s regional filmmaking
at its best...or worst, depending on your outlook. Inept, cheap
and poorly done on almost every level, it could only be loved
by the people who made it —
or sick freaks like me!
|
|
|
Something
Weird has packed this DVD with plenty of extras to make the wretched
movies go down easier. There is the aforementioned commentary
track and also about seven minutes of rare Asylum
Of Satan
behind-the-scenes footage. Included in the DVD keepcase is a 4-page
booklet of liner notes by Patty Breen (entitled The Devil Went
Down to Louisville: Girdler, The Devil and Asylum of Satan)
that go into detail about the making of the film and provide an
outline of Girdler's life and career. Other extras include a welcome
set of drive-in horror film trailers, a gallery of horror comic
covers set to music by The Dead Elvi, and two shorts from the
Something Weird vaults. The first is a short bit of burlesque
called Satan's Dance that's exactly what you would guess.
The second is the almost indescribably insane 30-minute featurette
entitled The Soul Snatcher, which tells the story of a
pair of evil, satanic shoes. Has to be seen to be believed!
While the audio and video on this
DVD is far from top quality, I'm sure everything looks as good
as possible. I'm just grateful for the chance to see these odd
little films which would remain hidden if it weren't for Something
Weird Video. Some may complain that the films are awful —
and they are —
but if you watch a movie called Satan's
Children and expect a quality production
you're living in a dream world. These movies are a different kind
of cinema. Eccentric cinema! So gather some like-minded friends,
make some popcorn, grab a drink and settle back for a close approximation
of the 1970s drive-in experience. 2/17/03 |
•
Home
| Reviews | Downloads
| Top
•
|
