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Brainiac
AKA
El Barón Del Terror
CasaNegra
Edition
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Mexico
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1962
Directed by Chano Urueta
Starring
Abel Salazar
Rosa María Gallardo
Rubén Rojo
B&W |
77 Minutes |
Not Rated
Format: DVD (R0 - NTSC)
CasaNegra Entertainment
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7
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10
= Highest Rating |
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Replaces
EC's July 2001 review of the BWF edition |
Bizarre.
Nutty. Goofy. Ridiculous. Hilarious. Brainiac!
Even
for Mexihorror this is one weird, way-out flick.
Abel Salazar (who also produced) stars as mystery
man Baron Vitelius, evil sorcerer and brain-slurping
monster. The story opens in the year 1661 in Mexico
City, where a court of the Spanish Inquisition
is passing sentence on Vitelius for practicing
witchcraft. The reading of the charges has to
be one of the longest such proclamations put on
film —
the guy just drones on and on, launching into
a lengthy report of how the accused withstood
every torture method applied to him without the
slightest effect. All the while Vitelius grins
impishly like a naughty schoolboy mocking his
teacher, suddenly pulling a straight face whenever
the Inquisitor looks his way. (With that I knew
this flick was going to be fun.) He haughtily
dismisses his judges, who order him burned at
the stake for his defiance. When the sentence
is carried out the Baron —
dressed like a Monty Pythonized version of the
Pope — calmly withstands the flames, gazing skyward
to watch the arrival of the fakiest looking comet
ever seen. Aping
the opening sequence of Black
Sunday, Vitelius proclaims a curse on the
Inquisitors, promising his return in 300 years'
time to wreak vengeance on their descendants.
Flash
forward three centuries to 1961. Vickie Contreras
(Rosa María Gallardo), descendant of one of Vitelius'
judges, and her boyfriend Ronnie (Battle
Of The Last Panzer's Rubén Rojo) are young
astronomers studying under the tutelage of eminent
scientist Prof. Milan (Luis Aragón, sporting one
of the worst comb-overs
ever). By examining ancient records Milan
predicts the appearance of an unnamed comet last
seen 300 years earlier. Sure enough it appears,
much to the trio's delight. A meteor detaches
from the comet and crash-lands (actually it's
rather slowly lowered, accompanied by a slide
whistle sound effect) in a wood not far from Milan's
observatory. The space rock melts open to reveal
the monstrous Brainiac —
Vitelius in his bestial state. An innocent passerby
is attacked, his brain sucked out by the creature's
forked, foot-long tongue. Vitelius transforms
into human guise after feasting, magically transposing
the victim's dapper business suit onto his own
body. (He leaves the dead guy his T-shirt and
boxers, though... How kind of him!) Vitelius encounters
Vickie and Ronnie, who've come looking for the
meteor, as he's strolling from the woods. He plays
the suave European type and befriends the couple.
Later, he kills a couple of floozies to dine on
their brains.
The murders draw in
the police, of course, in the form of a bald,
Jesse Ventura lookalike inspector (David Silva)
and his comic relief partner, Benny. We learn
through dialog that there's also been a major
jewel heist, implying that Vitelius needed some
quick cash to set up new digs. Sure enough, the
next time we see him he's ensconced in a huge
castle-like manor complete with cadaverous old
butler. He throws a formal dinner party, inviting
Vickie, Ronnie, Milan and the descendants of the
other Inquisitors who condemned him 300 years
earlier. It's all part of the Baron's revenge.
Once ingratiated to the descendants he plans to
kill them and digest their gray matter. During
the party Vitelius excuses himself, complaining
of an old pain that requires him to take medicine.
This consists of a bowl full of human brains kept
locked in a cupboard! Apparently he takes occasional
spoonfuls to keep regular...
In its
dubbed English form,
Brainiac (AKA El Barón Del Terror)
is one of the most unintentionally funny flicks
I've ever seen — the original Spanish version
plays a wee bit straighter, but not much. The
plot makes absolutely no logical sense whatsoever.
The special effects are incredibly cheap even
for a Mexican production of the period, veering
hilariously into Ed Wood territory. (All of the
outdoor shots are just people standing in front
of badly blown up photos of buildings, hills,
etc.) Any moment of potentially genuine creepiness
is totally pissed away by the ridiculous-looking
monster and overwrought acting. (Most notably
a scene in which the Brainiac freezes Prof. Pantoya
[Germán Robles] with a hypnotic stare, then proceeds
to suck out the brains of the man's pretty daughter
right in front of him. Robles' quivering, pop-eyed
stare while the creature kills the girl had me
convulsing with mirth.) The stilted, often goofy
dubbed English dialog adds immeasurably to the
fun. Connoisseurs of industrial strength queso
will have a great time.
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CasaNegra's new, officially
sanctioned edition of Brainiac
blows the old BWF and Alpha releases right out
of the water — the
difference between those previous "gray market"
DVDs and this one is like night and day. A beautifully
crisp fullframe transfer, taken from original
vault materials, puts appreciation of the film
in a whole new light, as does the original Spanish
language track (never before available, here in
Dolby
Digital Mono and with
optional English subtitles.) Thankfully
the dubbed English audio
track is also included, although it isn't listed
on the back of the packaging for some reason.
You have a choice of either Spanish or English-language
menu screens; in a nice touch, the cover
sleeve art is reversible — the keepcase can be
displayed as either Brainiac
or El Barón Del Terror.
And there are extras!
Chief among these is a fun audio commentary by
"Kirb Pheeler", who is unapologetic
in his love for the film. He provides some background
on Brainiac's production
and talks briefly about Mexihorror cinema of the
late '50s-early '60s, but mainly he just has a
good time watching the show and imparting this
enthusiasm to the listener. The DVD also includes
an "Interactive Press Kit" (an amusing
'cheese index' of sorts that uses thumbnail clips
from the movie), a 1960s U.S. radio spot, a somewhat
limited image gallery of stills/lobby cards, talent
bios, a text essay on the film, and an exclusive
"CasaNegra Loteria game card" (whatever
that's supposed to mean). Alas, even with such
groovy bonus features I can't award this disc
a "10" DVD rating, as much as I'd like
to... It pains me to report that the dubbed English
track — truly the most enjoyable way to experience
Brainiac — is badly
out of sync for nearly a third of the movie. (This
is especially noticeable during the the first
10 minutes.)
I suppose I'll need to hang on to that crappy
old BWF version after all.
9/09/06
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