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Review
by
B.L
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5
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9 |
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10
= Highest Rating |
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One
of the most famous hardcore sex films of all time
finally gets a proper DVD release.
Does the movie live up to almost three decades
of hype?
Well,
no. How could it? No matter... This is the porn
your dad grew up watching. Or, if you're a middle-aged
geezer like me, the porn you grew up watching
—
or wanted to watch. Debbie
Does Dallas may not be a particularly well-made
sex romp, but as
a time capsule of 1970s American porn at the very
dawn of the home video age it is perhaps without
peer.
This
is from "back in the day" when feature-length
pornos had plots and scripted stories. The hardcore
action in Debbie Does Dallas
doesn't kick off until ten minutes into the film,
something practically unheard of nowadays. This
isn't to say there's a meaningful story here;
what passes for the plot is actually pretty stupid
and juvenile, the kind you'd see in a lame R-rated
sexploitation pic at the drive-in. It's really
just a wafer thin excuse for the sex scenes, but
with enough padding in between to fashion a non-hardcore
cut of the film for play in markets where porn
was verboten. (The ridiculously neutered
softcore version is available for comparison in
this new DVD set; see below.) High school senior
Debbie (Bambi Woods) has won a coveted slot on
pro football's Texas Cowgirls cheerleading squad
but doesn't have the money for the trip to Dallas.
Her parents disapprove and won't help her financially.
Luckily for Debbie her girlfriends are willing
to pitch in and help.
These plucky gals will do just about anything
for cash, even if means extending sexual
favors to a succession of horny men (and in one
case, a kinky married couple). They'll have to
work fast, though, as they only have two weeks
to raise the necessary funds —
all while keeping their (nonpaying) boyfriends
satisfied in the interim. Debbie's job
at a sporting goods store reaps unexpected benefits
when the lecherous manager (Robert Kerman of Babylon
Pink and Cannibal
Holocaust, billed as "Richard Balla")
offers to pay handsomely if she'll put out for
him. Initially resistant, she finally gives in.
Touchdown!
Since
this is porn from the '70s,
don't expect the performers to look like the tanned,
fit and perfectly coifed models seen in today's
fare. Incredible as it seems now, the actors in
Debbie were paid
next to nothing for their services,
if they were paid at all. According to Robin Byrd,
who appears as the horny Mrs. Hardwick, nobody
was in it for the money... They participated just
for the sex! (I suspect this isn't true across
the board, but I can certainly believe it of the
less-than-handsome guys in the cast.) Frankly,
some of the women aren't all that attractive —
the flab, zits, caesarian scars and excessive
body hair (by current standards) would instantly
disqualify them from working in modern porn.
This adds a degree of realism, however, that simply
isn't found with the silicone-enhanced fantasy
women of modern smut... While they aren't knockouts,
these ladies would at least be attainable by any
guy who wasn't a total dweeb. I should note that
this realism doesn't extend to the non-sex portions
of Debbie, since
the acting is pretty awful when it isn't laughably
amateurish; Bambi Woods is particularly atrocious
in this regard. (Kerman was the only professional
thesp in the cast.)
There are seven sex scenes
in the film (three of which feature oral acts
only), for the most part filmed with an unimaginative
'plant the camera and shoot' technique. This will
all seem rather routine, or even quaint, to anyone
who's been exposed to the modern stuff to any
great degree. (Lovers of "extreme" porn
will be severely disappointed.) Some of the knob-slobberin'
action can be fairly stimulating, though, especially
when it involves the nicer-looking ladies with
genuine skill. One gal doesn't miss a beat even
after getting an eyeful of splooge courtesy of
well-endowed porn vet Herschel Savage.
Debbie's
notoriety and "classic" status
stem purely from its existence at a particular
time. A high-profile lawsuit by the Dallas Cowboys
football team, ultimately dismissed, gave the
film massive free publicity; its move from grindhouse
theaters to videotape actually helped expand the
then-fledgling home video market. (Ever wonder
why Betamax lost out to the VHS format? Because
the porn industry adopted the latter.) Like the
notorious Deep Throat
(1972), it's one of the tiny handful of pornographic
films that everybody knew about even if
they'd never seen it or had any intention of doing
so.
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This new two-disc edition
of Debbie Does Dallas,
released
by Media Blasters label Raincoat Theater,
should satisfy any connoisseur
of classic porn. The 84-minute hardcore version
of the film, contained on Disc 1, looks and sounds
amazingly good for a zero-budget fuck flick made
nearly 30 years ago. The open-matte, fullframe
transfer was taken from elements in generally
fine condition, boasting rich colors and minimal
print damage. Since it isn't matted for theatrical
projection there's a lot of unnecessary space
at the top of the frame in many scenes; the cameraman's
sneakered foot makes a humorous cameo appearance
in an overhead shot during the shower sequence.
(None of the carnal action, it should be noted,
is affected by this.) Three audio options are
offered (not counting the commentaries; see below):
5.1 Surround, which is best for enjoying the groovy
score; the original mono, and even a Spanish-language
dub! (In which Kerman's character is called "Señor
Gomez".) These vary in quality —
volume on the Spanish track, for example, trends
low —
but are in the main quite satisfactory, without
any significant defects. For completists, the
censored cable TV version of the film is
available on Disc 2. This runs
only 63 minutes, shorn of nearly everything that
makes the pic watchable in the first place. (Oral
sex scenes are laughable, zoomed in to keep erect
penises out of the frame.) A/V quality is significantly
inferior in comparison to the uncut Debbie,
as it appears to have been mastered from a VHS
dupe. (Who'd want to watch the watered-down version
anyway?)
Some
entertaining extras are on hand, despite the fact
that many of the folks who participated in the
film are either reluctant to relive the experience
or simply unknown —
billed under false names, they remain untraceable
in their anonymity. (Some, of course, have since
died.) Two audio commentaries accompany the hardcore
version on the first disc. One of these is with
porn film historian Phillip C. Bernstene, who
fields questions from Adam Trash. It's a somewhat
dry affair, since Bernstene's personal connection
to the film is marginal
(he was involved with distribution
in some regions of the country) and he speaks
in a slow monotone; nonetheless he imparts some
intriguing factoids about Debbie's
various
legal troubles, innovative
marketing (it was one of the first hardcore pics
on home video, with $99 tapes sometimes sold directly
in theater lobbies), and
impact on the porn industry in general. The other
commentary features Robin Byrd, joined by Richard
York of Media Blasters. Byrd may only appear in
one of the film's scenes but still has plenty
to say, much of it quite amusing. She talks fondly
of the performers she knew personally, such as
Eric Edwards and Arcadia Lake, but doesn't hold
back from dishing on everybody else. ("That
is not a pretty dick.") She's
blunt, brassy and often very funny.
Byrd
also appears in a 37-minute interview featurette
located on the second disc. Not much of her porn
career is discussed; instead she focuses on her
long-running sex-oriented cable access show broadcast
in New York City, and how she fought to keep it
on the air. (Based on the brief clips we see of
the program, it would seem a direct progenitor
of Playboy TV's Night Calls.) Disc 2 also
contains a photo gallery and the hardcore theatrical
trailer for Debbie,
while explicit trailers for "classic"
titles Babylon Pink,
Neon
Nights, Devil
in Miss Jones and Insatiable
can be found on Disc 1. 12/09/06
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