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U.K.
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1972
Directed
by Ray Austin
Starring
Ann Michelle
Vickie
Michelle
Keith Buckley
Color
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88 Minutes
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R
Format:
DVD (R1 - NTSC)
Image Entertainment
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2008
Redemption Edition
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10
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Virgin
Witch is a silly supernatural sexploitationer actually
quite sleazy for a British film of its day that ultimately
doesn't go much of anywhere. When the end credits roll, one
is left musing, "So that's it, then?" Nonetheless,
the pic isn't a total waste of time. The yummy Michelle sisters
show us their naughty bits every few minutes. "Naked
Witch" would've been a better, more accurate title.
(Unfortunately it'd been used before, twice in 1964 alone.)
College-age sisters
Christine and Betty run away from a restrictive home and make
their way to London for a little excitement and, they hope,
employment. The older, worldlier sister, Christine (House
Of Whipcord's Ann Michelle, who's actually the younger of
the Michelle siblings), thinks she might try her hand at modeling
she's certainly got the figure for it. Waifish, virginal Betty
(Vicki Michelle) isn't so sure, warning Sis not to respond to
any ads posted on public notice boards. Which is exactly what
Christine does, of course. After all, their luck's been excellent
so far... Stranded on the road to London, the girls were rescued
by a nice, handsome chap named Johnny (Keith Buckley) who's
been kind enough to let them stay at his flat until they get
their finances together. (That he's taken quite a shine to Betty
probably has something to do with his philanthropy.) With things
going so well, thinks Christine, why not go for the brass ring?
Although lacking any
professional experience, she applies for a modeling position
at a supposedly prestigious agency. (If it's so classy, then
why is it advertising on public notice boards? She doesn't bother
to consider this.) The agency's aloof director, Sybil Waite
(Patricia Haines), at first seems like a cold, blunt customer
but warms considerably to Christine once she's seen her naked
and personally taken her measurements. And wouldn't you know
it? A job magically presents itself with the interview still
in progress. A client needs a model
on very short notice
for a photo shoot at a country manor that very weekend. Is Christine
game? Naturally she agrees, asking if it'd be okay to bring
her little sister along. Why, of course, my dear...
Sybil is a predatory
lesbian. She uses modeling jobs as bait to lure attractive,
naοve young women not just into her bed, but also the pagan
coven she heads as high priestess. Almost immediately she sensed
Christine would make an ideal recruit for both. What Sybil doesn't
know is that Christine isn't quite as naοve as she'd have people
believe
she's also one of those rare people gifted with untapped supernatural
powers, one who is "born to be a witch." Underestimating
those powers will have consequences the haughty priestess could
not have imagined.
Virgin
Witch starts promisingly
enough; the initial scenes deliberately dispense with conventional
establishing shots and are edited in an interesting fashion.
The acting, by just about everyone involved, is of a much higher
caliber than I expected. (Haines, as the villainous Sybil, stands
out among the players.) But once the girls arrive at Witchwold
Manor the pace slows to a crawl. It screeches to a dead stop
during the scene in which Johnny, back in London, listens to
an ex-girlfriend perform a lame song in a nightclub
the whole damn song. Suspense is practically nil. Basically,
after the first 20 minutes, the movie doesn't have much going
for it except Ann and Vickie (mostly Ann) frequently shedding
their clothes.
Speaking as an American
heterosexual male, I have to say that a pretty, perky-bristolled
byrd with a lilting Brit accent is one of the sexiest combinations
ever (at least I've always thought so); the Michelle sisters
certainly fit the bill. This movie leers at them, Dirty Old
Man style, at virtually every opportunity. Despite bringing
women characters to the fore, Virgin Witch
was made with horndog sensibilities firmly in mind
indeed, the very first shot is of a woman's naked breast. Talk
about cutting to the chase! All this lecherous ogling is fine
and dandy, but the filmmakers almost forgot they were making
a horror movie, too. Supernatural elements are relegated strictly
to the background, reduced to "McGuffin" status until
very near the end... Christine, discovering her latent power,
quickly skims a book on magic and presto!
she's able to cast a spell that turns the tables on Sybil. The
coven's rituals are rather laughably depicted as well, as the
sight of mostly saggy, middle-aged naked people convulsing with
seizures (I refuse to call it "dancing") can't be
taken even semiseriously.
Yep... Just about everyone in the film eventually gets
naked one way or another. Even those you wish hadn't.
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| Image's
R1 edition of Virgin Witch looks
much better than I expected via a clean and colorful, if somewhat
soft, anamorphic 1.85:1 transfer. (It's too dark in some of the
outdoor night scenes, but this may well be the way they were shot.)
The presentation is marred only by the flat, sometimes rather
muffled audio; you'll be grabbing for the remote to turn the volume
up and down during lengthy sections of the film. An image gallery
and the original U.K. trailer comprise the extras. The provocative
cover art has nothing to do with the movie but I dig it anyway.
9/26/06 |
| UPDATE
The Image DVD (reviewed here) went OOP about
a year after its release. In August 2008 Redemption is issuing
a new R1 edition. |
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