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U.S.A.
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2007
Directed by Bret Piper
Starring
Alison Whitney
Benjamin Kanes
Chuck McMahon
Color
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80 Minutes
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PG-13
Format: DVD (R0 - NTSC)
POP Cinema/Shock-O-Rama
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Guest
Review by Ryan
Brewer |
Things
I learned while watching Bacterium...
Elite government agents
will shoot you to death when fired upon by paintballs.
Big decisions concerning global
Armageddon are reached by making a coin toss.
Chicks will take their clothes
off when confronted with the possibility of biological
contamination, especially at gun point.
Commandos are no match against
shabbily armed biker enthusiasts.
Bigwig scientists use the word
"singularity" over and over.
Motorcycles can outrun black
holes.
Military leaders always run
strategic operations from dimly lit rooms.
Paintball players tend to have
war games on totally unfamiliar tracts of land.
If after coming in contact
with a lab specimen containing a super-deadly
strain of bacteria and a guy with a flamethrower
asks, “Did you touch the sample?”, just say Nooooo!
Green light has a paralyzing
effect.
If your face is actively melting,
just pull over because you're in no condition
to drive.
The U.S. Government does not
develop biological weapons in hidden multimillion
dollar research facilities. Bioweapons are developed
in abandoned houses in the middle of nowhere on
shoestring budgets.
Bacterium
begins with a bang, as an unmarked (antique) government
helicopter closely purses a man with a melting
face driving recklessly down the highway. Melting
Man crashes his car into an unfortunate tree.
One of the helicopter crew, garbed in a biohazard
suit, jumps out and grabs the important top secret
lab sample in Melting Man's passenger side seat
and then his partner torches him with a flamethrower
for his effort. Later, after the fiery opening
credits, we join a trio of paintball fanatics
(Alison Whitney, Benjamin Kanes, Miya Sagara)
as they stumble upon a seemly abandoned mansion
in the middle of a field. Once inside they encounter
a deranged scientist named Dr. Boskovic (Chuck
McMahon). Apparently he created some sort of bacteriological
lifeform and then took it to the secluded mansion
for study. Long story short, the Pentagon declares
everyone expendable and places snipers outside
the mansion. Military leaders, politicians and
government scientists sit around a debate table
in a dimly lit room trying to decide whether they
should nuke the building to halt the contagion's
spread or use a new experimental weapon — a "Black
Hole Bomb" — to suck everything out of existence.
The paintballers and a rogue scientist (Shelley
Dague) try to survive while dodging bullets and
the gelatinous mass that is now running amuck
in the mansion.
Bacterium
is a mishmash of/homage to such classic fare as
X The Unknown, Island
Of Terror and The
Crazies. It's grade-Z schlock, in spite
of these inspirations, so it will likely impress
fans of Shock-o-Rama Cinema. I surmise that the
MPAA was not so impressed; I think they couldn't
sit through it and just slapped a PG-13 rating
on a movie containing adult language, nudity and
gore. The ultra-low budget and lame acting kept
getting in the way of my full enjoyment of the
feature. I must say that for a low budget film,
I was impressed with the opening helicopter/car
chase and tree collision. Many of the visual effects
featuring the slimly man-eating globs were impressive.
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This
shot-on-DV film is presented 1.78:1, enhanced
for 16:9 monitors. Picture quality — soft, with
slightly washed out colors — is probably the result
of the low budget. Pixilation occurs intermittently
especially during the fiery credit sequence. Audio
is serviceable with a 2-channel mix.
I found the bonus supplements
to be the best part of this release. The commentary
with producer Michael Raso and director Brett
Piper is informative, fun and lively, with no
quiet spots. The making-of featurette is interesting,
too; it details some of the surprisingly effective
creature FX and presents a firsthand look at guerilla
filmmaking. A Bacterium
blooper reel and four trailers for other Shock-O-Rama
features and are also included.
2/10/08
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