HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS

U.S.A. | 1988 Directed by Fred Olen Ray Starring Jay Richardson Linnea Quigley Michelle Bauer Color | 75 Minutes | R Format: DVD (R1 - NTSC) Retromedia

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6     8   10 = Highest Rating   Guest Review by Ryan Brewer

Fred Olen Ray's Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers buzzes back onto the DVD format in a new 20th Anniversary edition. Hailed as "the 4th greatest B-movie of all time" by Maxim magazine, it stands as a fine example of titillating, tongue-in-cheek exploitation cinema, made on a shoestring. (The film was shot in five days for less than $50,000.)     Jack Chandler (Jay Richardson) is a world-weary, burnt-out private detective — complete with Raymond Chandler/Noir-style narration — looking for runaway heiress Samantha (lovely Linnea Quigley) in the seedier environs of Los Angeles. While he follows leads for the missing girl, the police have their hands full investigating a bizarre series of chainsaw murders. The cops have a suspect in custody with connections to the killings who matches the description of Jack's runaway.     Jack checks out the held suspect. She's a loony, murderous call girl who seems to be hiding something concerning Jack's quarry. Jack is allowed a look at the newest evidence confiscated by the police. The bag of bloody trinkets from the latest victim includes a bloodstained matchbook. Jack swipes this handy clue and finds a phone number scribbled on it belonging to a prostitute named Mercedes. Jack arranges a meeting with Mercedes (the majestic Michelle Bauer) and while wining and dining her in a strip club, he spots his runaway gyrating on stage. Shortly after this revelation Jack falls unconscious from the drug Mercedes slipped in his drink. Jack awakens to find himself tied down and being held prisoner by Mercedes, Samantha and a third chick. (Not necessarily a bad thing...) As things are about to get groovy, "The Master" (the original Leatherface himself, Gunnar Hanson) arrives and spouts quite a bit of exposition about the holy properties of the chainsaw. It appears that Samantha has fallen in with a cult of chainsaw-worshipping hookers! The Master explains that the chainsaw is the cosmic link that unites all things in the universe, its secret cult originating long ago in ancient Egypt. (Naturally.) Saved from being carved up by a lack of gasoline, Jack escapes with Samantha in tow. Back at his office they make time for a little slapstick romance, which serves to pad the already brief running time. Eventually Samantha and Jack discover the secret location of the chainsaw cult's ceremonial temple (it helps that there's a cardboard sign pointing the way) and before you know it you'll have borne witness to the cultural spectacle that is The Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws.     Director/co-writer Fred Olen Ray (Teenage Cavegirl) doesn't have any pretensions beyond low brow humor and some lascivious T&A ogling, at which he's mostly successful. (Gore effects are so ridiculously cheap that they can't be taken seriously, nor are they meant to be.) Fans of VHS scream queens Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama) will obviously find much to enjoy here. People know what they like, and if barebreasted hos wielding chainsaws are your thing then this movie will deliver.

The video is directly mastered from the surviving 35mm camera negative, in an anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) presentation. At the beginning of the movie there is a disclaimer that reads, "This transfer has been created from the only remaining 35mm print source and it shows the wear and tear of its grindhouse legacy. We recommend listening to it through drive-in theater speakers if at all possible." That pretty much sums it up — visual quality isn't the best and it isn't the worst. I find that the somewhat rough look lends itself to an authentic, nostalgic feel. Audio is in glorious mono; saw buzzes and screams are clear, with minimal pops and crackles.     Extras: On the original 2001 DVD of this film (long OOP), the pic was showcased as an episode of Nite Owl Theater hosted by Fred Olen Ray. These host segments, which serve up additional nudity courtesy of cute Katie Jordan (Vampire Vixens), are included on the new disc as a supplement. Also on hand is a documentary on the making of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, amiably hosted by Ray. This features videotaped interviews with Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer, who still look great and fondly recall the film and their experience working on it. (Quigley was quite the trouper; she nearly suffocated from chainsaw engine exhaust while enclosed in a sarcophagus.) Ray and co-writer T.L. Lankford provide an engaging and informative audio commentary that offers many entertaining facts about the movie's production. The original theatrical trailer is also included. 11/09/08

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