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Ah...
junk food. It's one of my major weaknesses, I
admit. All that unabashed, unregulated sweetness
wrapped in colorful, enticing papers, luring you
to devour something candy-coated, perhaps chocolate-covered,
filled with who-knows-what concoctions of sugary
fillings, with no nutritional qualities and heading
with a bullet train's velocity straight to your
pleasure centers. As readers of this website no
doubt know, movies have their own version of junk
food goodness. Imagine that you've spent a week
viewing all five hours of Sergei Bondarchuk's
War and Peace and
you feel you can now cheat a bit on your celluloid
diet. You scan the cinematic junk food shelves
and there sits Toho Films' purest piece of pop-art
candy, 1965's Invasion of
Astro-Monster. The ingredients read, Giant
monster battles in outer space! Massive destruction
of property! Spaceships! Gorgeous alien-girl clones!
Square-jawed good guys beating up no-good alien
ratfinks! Mouth watering yet? Then read on,
read on.
A new planet has been discovered,
hiding just on the other side of Jupiter. The
astral body, for now called Planet X, has been
blamed for causing various seismic and magnetic
disturbances on Earth, and is emitting strange
radio waves that might have an intelligent origin.
Spaceship P-1, piloted by the unlikely team of
serious, straightforward Fuji (Akira Takarada)
and happy-go-lucky Glenn (played with endearing
gusto by American actor Nick Adams), is sent through
space to explore Planet X. Upon landing on the
planet's surreal, ominous surface, Fuji and Glenn
see lightning-like flashes in the sky and also
discover human-shaped footprints. Soon all doubt
as to whether the planet is inhabited is dispelled
as lighted booths emerge from the ground. These
glowing cylinders prove to be elevators which
take the astronauts on a descent into the planet's
interior. In the underground facility, they are
greeted by the inhabitants of Planet X — thin,
pale men whose uniforms might best be described
as the new wave band Devo if Mark Mothersbaugh
had been a Goth. The Xians explain that they are
forced to live underground because the surface
is ruled by a terrible creature they've named
Monster Zero. Soon their tormentor attacks and
it is revealed to be none other than King Ghidorah,
the flying dragon-like entity introduced in the
previous Godzilla film, 1964's Ghidorah,
the Three-Headed Monster. Apparently, after
being chased off of Earth by Godzilla and Co.,
Ghidorah has contented himself by making the surface
of Planet X uninhabitable with his lightning-ray
breath. The Xians offer an enticing deal to Fuji
and Glenn: If Japan will allow the Xians to come
and transport Godzilla and the flying reptile
Rodan to Planet X, in order to defeat King Ghidorah,
then the Xians in return will present Earth with
a cure-all for cancer. Sounds too good to be true,
but Glenn and Fuji leave Planet X in the P-1,
heading back to Earth to present the Xians' offer.
As he watches them depart, the Xian leader chuckles
evilly to himself. Hey, could these sinister,
completely untrustworthy-looking aliens have some
ulterior motive? Well, perhaps we're just being
xenophobic. Read on, read on.
Back on Earth, Fuji's sister
Haruno (Keiko Sawai) is carrying on a romance,
against Fuji's wishes, with a young, nerdy inventor
named Tetsuo (Akira Kubo). Tetsuo has been contacted
by a toy company that wishes to purchase his latest
invention, a small device that emits earsplitting
levels of sound over wide distances. Tetsuo's
contact at the company is the glamorous Namikawa
(Kumi Mizuno), and Haruno neither trusts this
woman, nor the fact that her company is offering
such exorbitant money for Tetsuo's seemingly useless
invention. Tetsuo, however, thinks the contract
will give him the legitimacy needed to impress
Fuji enough to consent to let Tetsuo marry Haruno.
The authorities in Japan, along
with prominent scientist Dr. Sakurai (Jun Tazaki),
listen as Glenn and Fuji present the Xians' offer,
and concede to help the inhabitants of Planet
X get rid of their three-headed pest by allowing
them to 'borrow' Godzilla and Rodan (who, after
all, have caused plenty of destruction themselves).
A bit of a warning flag goes up when it is revealed
that the Xians have had their spaceships submerged
in Japan's lakes already. However, the Xians reassure
the authorities that the spaceships are only there
to lift Godzilla from Lake Myojin and dig Rodan
out of Mt. Washigasawa. The ships encase the monsters
in transparent cocoons, then carry them through
space on their journey to Planet X. Glenn, Fuji,
and Dr. Sakurai are allowed to make the voyage
as well, though the departure is a hard one for
Glenn, who has been romancing Namikawa, the representative
of the toy company that has been courting Tetsuo
and his invention. Namikawa begs Glenn not to
go back to Planet X, but won't tell him why she
has such misgivings. As the Xians transport the
human trio and the pair of giant monsters across
space, our heroes are regaled with the usual 'see
how much more advanced we are than you' speech
as the Xians show off their ability to traverse
the distance from Earth to Planet X in a matter
of hours. Upon being released on Planet X, Godzilla
and Rodan skirmish with King Ghidorah and swiftly
send the evil monster into retreat, prompting
Godzilla to dance an unforgettable (and still
controversial) 'victory jig'. While the Xians
are distracted by the monsters' battle, Fuji and
Glenn escape to do some snooping around to see
if their distrust of the Xians is justified. They
soon encounter none other than Namikawa (!), only
now she is wearing the latest in 'Xian chic'.
She doesn't seem to know Glenn, and his shock
at finding her on Planet X is amplified when yet
another Namikawa appears, obviously part of an
unknown number of Namikawa clones. The Xians are
angered by the astronauts' unauthorized exploring,
but all is forgiven as the Xian leader holds up
his end of the bargain, giving Dr. Sakurai the
tapes that allegedly will reveal the cure for
cancer. The trio of humans returns home in a replica
of the P-1 spaceship.
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